Managing Holiday Stress Through Dinner Table Conversation

This week’s column was submitted Gwen LaCosse, reference assistant at the .

Working in the Reference Department at a public library is a great job. No two days are the same. Moreover, it’s analogous to being a writer—getting paid to learn.

In any given day, in any given week, people come up with a myriad of questions. I have a vivid imagination, but sometimes patrons ask things I would not have thought of.

Not to give away too many trade secrets, so to speak, but I’d like to mention one patron’s question that has long stayed with me. I think it’s especially timely now, especially as we head into late December.

A woman once approached the reference desk and, with some trepidation, asked me how her family could learn to communicate with each other at the dinner table. How could she, her husband and several children learn to talk—really talk—to each other?

I was thinking at that moment, great question. I wish more people would ask this. It seems like it should be such a simple thing. You know, to talk.

Earlier:

Given the pressure in the struggling economy of December 2011 to shop, shop, shop, and buy, buy, buy, dashing from store to store and from website to website to find that perfect present or presents, how much time is there for people to actually talk with each other, to listen, to have a conversation?

There’s plenty of advice available on how to deal with stress during the holidays. Take deep breaths, exercise, lighten up, and more. To all of that I’d add, set aside some time between all of the running around to converse with family, friends, acquaintances and coworkers.  Make the time. You might just be surprised at what you’ll hear.

I don’t recall that I ever saw that particular woman who came to the reference desk again. I don’t know her name, and I didn’t then. But I say thanks for the gift she gave me—a reminder about the importance of conversation, the need to talk, the importance of turning off the technology, and just talking. Back and forth; give and take, learning as you go.

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