A Shut-in's Guide to Halloween from Ax to Zombie

Do you need a quiet night in after all these Halloween parties? Are you bored and suffering from writer's block in your snowbound hotel? Have you been crippled and chained to a bed by your biggest fan? Has the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention locked you into your apartment building with a mysterious pandemic? Are you getting these references?

Well then, you need to familiarize yourself with more horror movies and this is just the weekend to do so. So grab an uninfected loved one, barricade the doors, and break out that bowl of candy corn, here are Patch's top five horror recommendations in five spooky sub-genres.

 Ax Murder/Psychopath: Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960)

Though we hate to start on an obvious note, how can you deny the movie that singlehandedly made showering scary? Psycho set the stage for generations of horror films with its creepy motel, eye-candy victim (Janet Leigh), great misdirection and Anthony Perkins as the unforgettable momma's boy/amateur taxidermist Norman Bates. Psycho may not break any records in the kill department, but the iconic Bernard Hermann all-string score drives the suspense level off the charts. Whatever you do, don't watch it with mother.

Honorable Mentions: The Shining, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Scream and The Strangers.

Horror/Comedy Hybrid: Nightmare Before Christmas (Henry Selick, 1993)

If you're looking for something a little more lighthearted this Halloween, you've come to the right category. Although Jack Skellington hats are pretty much necessities for 16-year-old Goths, this classic stop-action musical, with its catchy soundtrack by Danny Elfman, has something for everyone. Nightmare has the rare ability to get you in the mood for two holidays at the same time. It's also great for mildly traumatizing young children--they'll never trust claymation again! Regardless, Nightmare is far more rewarding for all ages than writer Tim Burton's second stop-motion attempt, 2005's yawn-worthy Corpse Bride. True-blue Burton fans should also check out his early shorts, Vincent andFrankenweenie, available on the special edition DVD.

Honorable Mentions: Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, Ghostbusters and Young Frankenstein (Yes, that's six, but how can we leave out Young Frankenstein).

Psychological: Rosemary's Baby (Roman Polanski, 1968)

This category may be a little nebulous but we needed some excuse to mention Rosemary's Baby. As the quintessential demon-baby flick, this is definitely not a movie for expectant mothers. It is, however, a must-watch for fans of slow-building, "believable" horror. Though The Omen has a similar premise with more shock value, what puts Rosemary's Baby above and beyond is Mia Farrow's performance as a woman who suspects that the bun in her oven might actually be the anti-Christ. With a disinterested husband (John Cassavetes) and possible witches for neighbors, Rosemary will need more than just Dr. Spock's Baby Guide to deal with this little bundle of evil.

Honorable Mentions: The Exorcist, The Sixth Sense, The Orphanage (Spanish), and Misery.

Vampire: Let the Right One In (Tomas Alfredson, 2008)

It's a bit presumptuous to throw around phrases like "instant classic," but that's seems to be the only apt phrase for this Swedish vampire drama, which tells the heartwarming and chilling story of how a weird, bullied child meets and falls in love with his ageless, bloodsucking neighbor. There's already a pretty serviceable American remake out there. Known as Let Me In, this almost shot-by-shot remake by Cloverfield director Matt Reeves can still be caught in theaters, though the original is still preferable. Again, great example of "believable horror," Let the Right One In also has one of its genre's all-time best endings.

Honorable Mentions: Interview with a Vampire, Thirst (Korean) and Nosferatu (both 1922 and 1979 versions).

Zombie: Night of the Living Dead (George A. Romero, 1968)

Make sure to stock up on two-by-fours after watching this classic. Night is the granddaddy of all zombie films, spawning dozens of imposters, parodies and a life-long career of "Dead" movies for cult-favorite George A. Romero (most recently 2009's Survival of the Dead). Yet Romero's masterpiece is not all about the gore, as it touches on issues of group psychology, racism and Cold War fears. Like its trademark undead--who are generally as easy to kill as dodos--Night may be slow-paced, but it's still terrifying.

Honorable Mentions: 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, Quarantine and The Evil Dead.